Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt
It is hard to live up to Eleanor Roosevelt’s dictum (Sidenote: has anybody noted that Eleanor was discussing people?). To talk about people is human nature. It serves an evolutionary purpose. It helps modulate the reputation of individuals, especially those who try to cheat.
So how does one approach the temptation to speak about people? I have a simple rule: praise in public, criticize in private. Practice positive gossip: praise them behind their backs. And while you are at it, tell them in person before they go.
All things considered, what you see in others is oftentimes a mirror into yourself. Our minds can only see what they are trained to see. “If everywhere you go smells like shit, maybe it is time to check your shoes.” Reality can be experienced from multiple perspectives. What you see in others is what you see in yourself.